A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs from different countries board an
airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the
first-ever to feature pilotless technology. It is an uncrewed aircraft.
Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software
is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.
Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different
type of excuse. The Malaysian CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming
very calm indeed.
Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies:
"If it is the same software that’s developed by my company's IT systems
department, this plane won't even take off!"
Now ...That is Confidence!
Showing posts with label Lite n Easy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lite n Easy. Show all posts
Monday, August 2, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
UP??
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then, that's probably true of many languages.)
There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now ........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!
Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U P
Don't screw up. Send this on to everyone you look up in your address book.
Now I'll shut up
There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now ........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!
Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U P
Don't screw up. Send this on to everyone you look up in your address book.
Now I'll shut up
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Kena Tindih??
A nice e-mail sent to me; just thot it would be interesting to share bout myth n scientific xplanation..
Janganlah kite ni selalu tuduh hantu le, jin le....tahyul semua tu.Fenomena kene tindih....kepercaya an dan kebenaran..
just to share.... aku baca segmen pengalaman menyeramkan dalam book and readings, byk sgt orang dok citer pasal pengalaman kena tindih ni........ betul ker kena tindih disebabkan gangguan makhluk seperti jin atau hantu?
Orang ramai describe kena tindih seperti takleh gerakkan seluruh badan,hujung jari, terasa berat kat dada...nampak mender2 pelik2 (hantu, makhluk hitam dan sebagainyer) ....
kalau aku tanya sini, mesti ramai jawab pernah kena....aku pun jujur pernah ade pengalaman kena 'tindih' ni masa skolah menengah dulu....aderla dalam 3-4 kali jugak....masa tu aku sedar....boleh bukak mata separuh..... aku tau aku sedar....tapi takleh gerak...kadang2 geram, sbb takleh gerak.....pastu 5 minit baru leh gerak....aku dulu pun takut...mmg ingat kena hempap dah...lps boleh gerak tu seram sejuk jer..... tapi, setelah aku masuk U belajar pasal tubuh badan manusia..... baru la aku tau kebenaran dia..... ni aku nak citer sket pasal fenomena hempap/tindih atau nama medical nyer 'sleep paralysis'
Sleep paralysis atau dimelayukan 'lumpuh waktu tidur'....adalah condition yang terdiri daripada of course la paralysis (lumpuh) yang temporary (sementara). . ... temporary paralysis ni selalu berlaku bila time2 nak tido (hypnagogic paralysis) atau baru2 bangun dari tido (hypnopompic paralysis)
ok, normal badan manusia bila tido, bila masuk stage tidur yang nyenyak atau REM (rapid eye movement.... .waktu nyenyak ni, bijik mata kiter gerak2) stage.....otak akan bagitau badan kita suruh rehat...so, badan kite kira macam switch off kejap.....REM atonia (tader muscle tone)......
ok, otak kiter pun ader switch off button....dipanggil reticular activating system RAS.......bila otak dah switch off badan, dia pun auto switch off RAS ni......so tinggal automatic function (degupan jantung, bernafas etc.) jer yang on.....kirenyer screensaver laaa or hibernate... so,, bila kita bangun, RAS switched on balik......kita sedar fully awake state....tapi kadang2, electrical signal tak diactivate kan oleh otak suh switch on balik badan kiter...... maka masa tu laa badan kita lumpuh seketika.... before otak activate balik......mmg menakutkan tapi benar..... tapi paralysis tu tak semestinyer complete atau full..kadang2 partial atau sebahagian jer...tu ader yang boleh gerakkan ibu jari, tp badan lain lumpuh etc....
Satu lagi, sleep paralysis ni selalu jugak datang skali dengan hallucinations( halusinasi la) either dalam bentuk auditory (dengar bunyi pelik2), visual (nampak mender bukan2) atau tactile (deria sentuhan, terasa mender sentuh/hempap dll..)
Sebab2 atau mender2 yang boleh mentrigger sleep paralysis:
1. tidor dalam posisi terlentang terlalu lama
2. jadual tidur yang tak tentu arah (irregular sleep clock)
3. sleep/rest deprivation (tak cukup tidor la ni...penat sgt)
4. stress yang byk kat otak...masalah keluarga, kewangan bla2
5. pertukaran gaya hidup secara tiba2 ( macam biasa dok rumah jer, tetiba esok gi panjat gunung, kayuh beskal....heheh extreme sgt contoh aku ni)
6. orang yang ader penyakit narcolepsy
So jangan lagi kata kena hempap ngan hantu... Korang lagi hantu sebenornye.. ........
Janganlah kite ni selalu tuduh hantu le, jin le....tahyul semua tu.Fenomena kene tindih....kepercaya an dan kebenaran..
just to share.... aku baca segmen pengalaman menyeramkan dalam book and readings, byk sgt orang dok citer pasal pengalaman kena tindih ni........ betul ker kena tindih disebabkan gangguan makhluk seperti jin atau hantu?
Orang ramai describe kena tindih seperti takleh gerakkan seluruh badan,hujung jari, terasa berat kat dada...nampak mender2 pelik2 (hantu, makhluk hitam dan sebagainyer) ....
kalau aku tanya sini, mesti ramai jawab pernah kena....aku pun jujur pernah ade pengalaman kena 'tindih' ni masa skolah menengah dulu....aderla dalam 3-4 kali jugak....masa tu aku sedar....boleh bukak mata separuh..... aku tau aku sedar....tapi takleh gerak...kadang2 geram, sbb takleh gerak.....pastu 5 minit baru leh gerak....aku dulu pun takut...mmg ingat kena hempap dah...lps boleh gerak tu seram sejuk jer..... tapi, setelah aku masuk U belajar pasal tubuh badan manusia..... baru la aku tau kebenaran dia..... ni aku nak citer sket pasal fenomena hempap/tindih atau nama medical nyer 'sleep paralysis'
Sleep paralysis atau dimelayukan 'lumpuh waktu tidur'....adalah condition yang terdiri daripada of course la paralysis (lumpuh) yang temporary (sementara). . ... temporary paralysis ni selalu berlaku bila time2 nak tido (hypnagogic paralysis) atau baru2 bangun dari tido (hypnopompic paralysis)
ok, normal badan manusia bila tido, bila masuk stage tidur yang nyenyak atau REM (rapid eye movement.... .waktu nyenyak ni, bijik mata kiter gerak2) stage.....otak akan bagitau badan kita suruh rehat...so, badan kite kira macam switch off kejap.....REM atonia (tader muscle tone)......
ok, otak kiter pun ader switch off button....dipanggil reticular activating system RAS.......bila otak dah switch off badan, dia pun auto switch off RAS ni......so tinggal automatic function (degupan jantung, bernafas etc.) jer yang on.....kirenyer screensaver laaa or hibernate... so,, bila kita bangun, RAS switched on balik......kita sedar fully awake state....tapi kadang2, electrical signal tak diactivate kan oleh otak suh switch on balik badan kiter...... maka masa tu laa badan kita lumpuh seketika.... before otak activate balik......mmg menakutkan tapi benar..... tapi paralysis tu tak semestinyer complete atau full..kadang2 partial atau sebahagian jer...tu ader yang boleh gerakkan ibu jari, tp badan lain lumpuh etc....
Satu lagi, sleep paralysis ni selalu jugak datang skali dengan hallucinations( halusinasi la) either dalam bentuk auditory (dengar bunyi pelik2), visual (nampak mender bukan2) atau tactile (deria sentuhan, terasa mender sentuh/hempap dll..)
Sebab2 atau mender2 yang boleh mentrigger sleep paralysis:
1. tidor dalam posisi terlentang terlalu lama
2. jadual tidur yang tak tentu arah (irregular sleep clock)
3. sleep/rest deprivation (tak cukup tidor la ni...penat sgt)
4. stress yang byk kat otak...masalah keluarga, kewangan bla2
5. pertukaran gaya hidup secara tiba2 ( macam biasa dok rumah jer, tetiba esok gi panjat gunung, kayuh beskal....heheh extreme sgt contoh aku ni)
6. orang yang ader penyakit narcolepsy
So jangan lagi kata kena hempap ngan hantu... Korang lagi hantu sebenornye.. ........
Sunday, June 14, 2009
job (to be) vacancies...
THIS WAS SENT TO MY E-MAIL; great reminder of what to be expected when newly-weds are over 'the moon'...
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always ho! pe for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume! final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always ho! pe for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume! final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
memory lane..
To All those Born in the 40's, 50's , 60's & early '70s..
The article below was written by Patrick Teoh in his blog "Niamah!!".
To All those Born in the 40's, 50's , 60's & early '70s...
First, we survived with mothers who had no maids. They cooked /cleaned while taking care of us at the same time
They took aspirin, candies floss,fizzy drinks, shaved ice with syrups and diabetes were rare. Salt added to Pepsi or Coke was remedy for fever.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets..
As children, we would ride with our parents on bicycles/ motorcycles for 2 or 3. Richer ones in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a private taxi was a special treat.
We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle.
We would spend hours on the fields under bright sunlight flying our kites, without worrying about the UV ray which never seem to affect us.
We go to jungle to catch spiders without worries of Aedes mosquitoes.
With mere 5 pebbles (stones) would be a endless game. With a ball (tennis ball best) we boys would ran like crazy for hours.
We catch guppy in drains / canals and when it rain we swim there.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually worry about being unhygenic.
We ate salty, very sweet & oily food, candies,bread and real butter and drank very sweet soft sweet coffee/ tea, ice kacang, but we weren't overweight because.......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, till streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day.
AND WE DONT HAVE HANDPHONE S TO BUG US. And we were O..K. AND WE ARE SAFE.
We would spend hours repairing our old bicycles and wooden scooters out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .
We did no t have Playstations, X-boxes, Nintendo's, multiple channels on cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers, no Internet. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued the stunts.
We never had birthdays parties till we are 21
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and just yelled for them!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 40 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
PS: -The big type is because Long-sightedness or hyperopia at your age
. he... he....
~ Patrick Teoh
The article below was written by Patrick Teoh in his blog "Niamah!!".
To All those Born in the 40's, 50's , 60's & early '70s...
First, we survived with mothers who had no maids. They cooked /cleaned while taking care of us at the same time
They took aspirin, candies floss,fizzy drinks, shaved ice with syrups and diabetes were rare. Salt added to Pepsi or Coke was remedy for fever.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets..
As children, we would ride with our parents on bicycles/ motorcycles for 2 or 3. Richer ones in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a private taxi was a special treat.
We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle.
We would spend hours on the fields under bright sunlight flying our kites, without worrying about the UV ray which never seem to affect us.
We go to jungle to catch spiders without worries of Aedes mosquitoes.
With mere 5 pebbles (stones) would be a endless game. With a ball (tennis ball best) we boys would ran like crazy for hours.
We catch guppy in drains / canals and when it rain we swim there.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually worry about being unhygenic.
We ate salty, very sweet & oily food, candies,bread and real butter and drank very sweet soft sweet coffee/ tea, ice kacang, but we weren't overweight because.......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, till streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day.
AND WE DONT HAVE HANDPHONE S TO BUG US. And we were O..K. AND WE ARE SAFE.
We would spend hours repairing our old bicycles and wooden scooters out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .
We did no t have Playstations, X-boxes, Nintendo's, multiple channels on cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers, no Internet. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued the stunts.
We never had birthdays parties till we are 21
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and just yelled for them!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 40 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
PS: -The big type is because Long-sightedness or hyperopia at your age
. he... he....
~ Patrick Teoh
Friday, April 24, 2009
On a lighter side...
These lines have been published before but I would like to repost, hoping others would benefit and see what are the damages if broken or direct translation into English is allowed..
Subject: English Signs Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING
See if you can catch the drift...
Subject: English Signs Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING
See if you can catch the drift...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Will it happen??
Kalau anda pikir anda masih islam
bacalah...kalau tidak......Allah saja yang tahu...
Tolonglah ambil masa 2 minit untuk membaca
ini....kalau lebih dua minit
tu bukan membaca la tu..tapi mengeja.. ;-)
Dengan Nama ALLAH yg Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih...
Bayangkan benda ini berlaku pada anda.....
Suatu hari pada masa
Sembahyang jumaat yang di hadiri oleh lebih
kurang 1,000 jemaah...
tiba-tiba masuk dua orang lelaki yang menutupi
seluruh tubuhnyer dgn pakaian hitam.. tak nampak apa cuma dua biji
mata and membawa mesingun... lalu salah seorang lelaki tu bertempik "
"Sesiapa yang sanggup MATI kerana ALLAH sila berdiri di tempat kamu"
Selepas mendengar amaran lelaki itu maka segeralah bertempiaran lari para
jemaah itu utk menyelamatkan diri.... daripada jumlah yang 1,000 tadi tu hanya
tinggal lebih kurang 20 orang sahaja yang masih berdiri di tempat
masing-masing termasuk Pak Imam tu... Lelaki yang bertempik tadi segera
membuka tutup mukanya lalu melihat ke arah Pak Imam sambil berkata: "Ok Pak Imam, saya dah halau SEMUA yang hipokrit, sekarang bolehlah Pak
Imam mulakan sembahyang Jumaat".... Lalu kedua lelaki tersebut berpaling
dan meninggalkan jemaah....
Macammana.. adakah anda rasa lawak dgn cerita di atas.
selain terhibur anda fikirlahlah...
" Lawak kan , dari 1,000 org yg mengaku dia
Islam hanya 20 yg betul-betul beriman... "
" Lawakkan berapa banyak manusia yang mudah
lupakan ALLAH bila menghadapi bahaya... kedua lelaki hanya
membawa mesin-gun.. dia tak kata pun
nak bunuh.. tapi generasi skrang.. amat lemah..
baru kena ugut terus lari
lintang pukang.. lupa yg dia tak sembahyang
jumaat lagi..."
bacalah...kalau tidak......Allah saja yang tahu...
Tolonglah ambil masa 2 minit untuk membaca
ini....kalau lebih dua minit
tu bukan membaca la tu..tapi mengeja.. ;-)
Dengan Nama ALLAH yg Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih...
Bayangkan benda ini berlaku pada anda.....
Suatu hari pada masa
Sembahyang jumaat yang di hadiri oleh lebih
kurang 1,000 jemaah...
tiba-tiba masuk dua orang lelaki yang menutupi
seluruh tubuhnyer dgn pakaian hitam.. tak nampak apa cuma dua biji
mata and membawa mesingun... lalu salah seorang lelaki tu bertempik "
"Sesiapa yang sanggup MATI kerana ALLAH sila berdiri di tempat kamu"
Selepas mendengar amaran lelaki itu maka segeralah bertempiaran lari para
jemaah itu utk menyelamatkan diri.... daripada jumlah yang 1,000 tadi tu hanya
tinggal lebih kurang 20 orang sahaja yang masih berdiri di tempat
masing-masing termasuk Pak Imam tu... Lelaki yang bertempik tadi segera
membuka tutup mukanya lalu melihat ke arah Pak Imam sambil berkata: "Ok Pak Imam, saya dah halau SEMUA yang hipokrit, sekarang bolehlah Pak
Imam mulakan sembahyang Jumaat".... Lalu kedua lelaki tersebut berpaling
dan meninggalkan jemaah....
Macammana.. adakah anda rasa lawak dgn cerita di atas.
selain terhibur anda fikirlahlah...
" Lawak kan , dari 1,000 org yg mengaku dia
Islam hanya 20 yg betul-betul beriman... "
" Lawakkan berapa banyak manusia yang mudah
lupakan ALLAH bila menghadapi bahaya... kedua lelaki hanya
membawa mesin-gun.. dia tak kata pun
nak bunuh.. tapi generasi skrang.. amat lemah..
baru kena ugut terus lari
lintang pukang.. lupa yg dia tak sembahyang
jumaat lagi..."
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Love- A different perspective.
Slow down to read this. It should be worth it.
Touching words from the mouths of babes. What does 'Love' mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
1) 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
2) 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
3) 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chris Lim - age 6
4) 'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Daniel - age 7
5) 'Love is what's in the house with you at Hari Raya if you stop watching tv and look around.'
Boy - age 7 (Wow!)
6) 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikki - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
7) 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
8) 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
9) 'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
10) 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lily - age 4
11) 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jasmin - age 8
So, there you go... Some definition of love coming from unadulterated minds. Do you foresee it coming??
Touching words from the mouths of babes. What does 'Love' mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
1) 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
2) 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
3) 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chris Lim - age 6
4) 'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Daniel - age 7
5) 'Love is what's in the house with you at Hari Raya if you stop watching tv and look around.'
Boy - age 7 (Wow!)
6) 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikki - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
7) 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
8) 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
9) 'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
10) 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lily - age 4
11) 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jasmin - age 8
So, there you go... Some definition of love coming from unadulterated minds. Do you foresee it coming??
Saturday, March 21, 2009
To Lead or Be Led
Don't walk behind me, 'cause I may not lead.
>>Why not??
Don't walk in front of me, 'cause I may not follow.
>>Can't follow suit??
But walk beside me, 'cause we are friends.
>>For how long??
>>Why not??
Don't walk in front of me, 'cause I may not follow.
>>Can't follow suit??
But walk beside me, 'cause we are friends.
>>For how long??
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Cari Pasal- finale
My apology if some wouldn't take what I'm gonna present as jokes but as for me, it's meant to hone our sarcasm skill.. Here we go;
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible! I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
Don't get me wrong; I'm just anticipating the future..
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible! I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
Don't get me wrong; I'm just anticipating the future..
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Cari Pasal.. Part 1
Got nothing better to do; Here's a few ways to make 'saucers' flying' (not flying saucer)....
When I got home one night three months ago, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
Until later, don't get too emotional.....
When I got home one night three months ago, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
Until later, don't get too emotional.....
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ladies.. wanna try??
Just off topic a bit...
Would be interesting to those nutters whose all about wheels, even on heels..
Would be interesting to those nutters whose all about wheels, even on heels..
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Breakaway..
Yesterday was pretty full; morning as usual, after friday prayer got sport's practice, at 6pm went to fix the railing at KMP, after Isya' went for the usual squash meet in Ptn City and came back at 1.00 am. I woke up at 4.00 am and left for KL 30 mts later (traffic northbound was heavy) and reached Putra terminal at 5.15 am to fetch 'abang'. Went to have breakfast at 'Nasi Lemak A.Bangsa in Kg Baru (nothing special bout it!!) before adjourning to the mosque for subuh prayer. Later on, we went to a hypermarket in Kg Pandan to do some grocery shopping and by the time we got back home, it was already 11.00 am...Time to hit the cosy bed for a while..............
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Statistik
Salam,
Got this thru email, dunno whether it's true or otherwise. Anyway, just for your light reading..
Selama beberapa tahun aku telah merungut kerana kurang tidur dan terlalu banyak tekanan dalam hidup, akan tetapi sekarang kini aku tahu kenapa ianya berlaku (the real reason) :
Aku keletihan kerana terlebih kerja... nak tau kenapa? Di bawah ini aku akan tunjukkan kenapa aku mempunyai beban kerja yang lebih dan ianya adalah benar dan bukan rekaan aku :
Populasi penduduk Malaysia sekarang adalah 23 juta orang.
1.7 juta darinya sudah bersara.
Jadi tinggal 21.3 juta orang.
1.3 juta pula adalah golongan kanak2 bawah 6 tahun.
Jadi tinggal 20 juta orang.
Dari 20 juta ini, 7 juta masih belajar (tadika, sekolah, kolej,
Universiti dll).
Jadi tinggal 13 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja.
Dari 13 juta ini, 5 juta orang adalah pekerja kerajaan yang pergi kerja tapi tak buat kerja.
Jadi tinggal 8 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja..
Tolak 3 juta orang yang duduk dalam hutan (tentera darat) pasal
diorang nie nak kerja macam mana... tinggal dalam hutan.
Dah tinggal 5 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja....
Dari jumlah itu, tolak 2.7 juta orang yang menganggur dan tak der kerja, surirumah, pekerja yang kena VSS, orang2 tua, fresh university student, kena buang kerja dll).
Tinggallah 2.3 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja.
Dari jumlah ini, sebanyak 1,215,512 orang dilaporkan sakit dan kini
berada di dalam hospital di seluruh Malaysia (tak kiralah hospital swasta ke atau hospital kerajaan dan ini termasuklah hospital gila).
Dah tinggal 1,084,488 orang yang boleh buat kerja....
Sekarang ini mengikut bancian terkini, terdapat 1,084,486 orang di dalam penjara dan Pusat Serenti di seluruh negara.
Jadi dah tinggal 2 orang yang boleh buat kerja...
Dan 2 orang itu adalah engkau dan aku...
Dari dua orang ini... engkau SEKARANG INI masih duduk depan komputer, main internet, main games, reading money&takaful management at www.aisyoulnorsihat akaful.blogspot. com ,membaca email, main chat dan tak buat kerja langsung... jadi tinggallah Aku sorang yang buat kerja dalam Malaysia nie...
Mana aku tak letih!!
Jadi sedarlah skit.... dahhhh..!!! pi buat kerja!!!
P/S : Semua statistik di atas boleh dirujuk kesahihannya di Pusat2
Bancian, Kementerian Kesihatan, Kementerian Pertahanan, Jabatan Tenaga Raya, Kementerian Pendidikan dan Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat.
No offence....
Got this thru email, dunno whether it's true or otherwise. Anyway, just for your light reading..
Selama beberapa tahun aku telah merungut kerana kurang tidur dan terlalu banyak tekanan dalam hidup, akan tetapi sekarang kini aku tahu kenapa ianya berlaku (the real reason) :
Aku keletihan kerana terlebih kerja... nak tau kenapa? Di bawah ini aku akan tunjukkan kenapa aku mempunyai beban kerja yang lebih dan ianya adalah benar dan bukan rekaan aku :
Populasi penduduk Malaysia sekarang adalah 23 juta orang.
1.7 juta darinya sudah bersara.
Jadi tinggal 21.3 juta orang.
1.3 juta pula adalah golongan kanak2 bawah 6 tahun.
Jadi tinggal 20 juta orang.
Dari 20 juta ini, 7 juta masih belajar (tadika, sekolah, kolej,
Universiti dll).
Jadi tinggal 13 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja.
Dari 13 juta ini, 5 juta orang adalah pekerja kerajaan yang pergi kerja tapi tak buat kerja.
Jadi tinggal 8 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja..
Tolak 3 juta orang yang duduk dalam hutan (tentera darat) pasal
diorang nie nak kerja macam mana... tinggal dalam hutan.
Dah tinggal 5 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja....
Dari jumlah itu, tolak 2.7 juta orang yang menganggur dan tak der kerja, surirumah, pekerja yang kena VSS, orang2 tua, fresh university student, kena buang kerja dll).
Tinggallah 2.3 juta orang yang boleh buat kerja.
Dari jumlah ini, sebanyak 1,215,512 orang dilaporkan sakit dan kini
berada di dalam hospital di seluruh Malaysia (tak kiralah hospital swasta ke atau hospital kerajaan dan ini termasuklah hospital gila).
Dah tinggal 1,084,488 orang yang boleh buat kerja....
Sekarang ini mengikut bancian terkini, terdapat 1,084,486 orang di dalam penjara dan Pusat Serenti di seluruh negara.
Jadi dah tinggal 2 orang yang boleh buat kerja...
Dan 2 orang itu adalah engkau dan aku...
Dari dua orang ini... engkau SEKARANG INI masih duduk depan komputer, main internet, main games, reading money&takaful management at www.aisyoulnorsihat akaful.blogspot. com ,membaca email, main chat dan tak buat kerja langsung... jadi tinggallah Aku sorang yang buat kerja dalam Malaysia nie...
Mana aku tak letih!!
Jadi sedarlah skit.... dahhhh..!!! pi buat kerja!!!
P/S : Semua statistik di atas boleh dirujuk kesahihannya di Pusat2
Bancian, Kementerian Kesihatan, Kementerian Pertahanan, Jabatan Tenaga Raya, Kementerian Pendidikan dan Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat.
No offence....
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Just for laugh
Somebody posted in 1 of the forum, due to current economic turmoil..
Ease up.. okay??
Regrettably, more bad financial news. Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days:
Origami Bank has folded,
Sumo Bank has gone belly up
Tempura Bank is in hot oil
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song
shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks,
Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Ease up.. okay??
Regrettably, more bad financial news. Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days:
Origami Bank has folded,
Sumo Bank has gone belly up
Tempura Bank is in hot oil
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song
shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks,
Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
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